PS 4/9/21 *Sylvia

*First a comment:
*SYLVIA
A few days ago, while at work, I saw how Sylvia manipulated a few things:
  • I was Scheduled to work today because an extra truck was going to make a delivery this week. (Typically, where we work receives 2 trucks each week — Tuesdays and Thursdays. This was going to be the first week since we started working there that they were going to have a 3rd truck and it was supposed to arrive today.
  • A few days ago, the Friday truck was cancelled and the Manager asked if I wanted to take that day off. I said “yes”. Sylvia wanted us to be in our home all day while these (4/9/11) Energies bubbled to the surface.
Today marks a specific Date in the Life of Sylvia and Paul. I won’t call it an “Anniversary” because that word indicates something to Celebrate… and this is NOT a Celebration.
As I’ve mentioned MANY times, I do not like to measure Sylvia’s “crossing” in “Years”. So far, I’ve been marking them in “Weeks”. If anyone wants to know what “10-years” / “1-Decade” looks like in “Weeks”, I can tell you… It’s 24-hours short of being 522-Weeks. That’s how much “Time” has flowed by me since My Sylvia crossed-over.
  • We had spent 3-Weeks in Hospice and on that last night, Sylvia and I were up until the wee-hours of that Saturday morning. We were sitting next to each other. The lights were turned down a bit and we were the only Beings in that room. I rested my head on her shoulder and snuggled as close to her face as I possibly could.
  • At some point, I fell asleep. I woke-up when the nurse came in, around 2:30a and noticed that Sylvia had gone. So Sylvia chose to leave between 2:15a and 2:30a, Saturday, April 9th 2011. (4/9/11)
I still talk to her throughout my days… every day. I know she’s near me most of the Time. She’s still teaching me “Telepathy” and I “more-clearly” receive her messages when I’m not stressed.
I miss her dearly. I Love her more than any words could ever explain or any Song I could ever write.

Even now… after these 522 horrible Weeks without her “Physically” by my side, it still doesn’t take much for me to start crying

  • “We” are a part of each other. I know this and I know Sylvia knows this.
  • There was a point in Time, during that last year when Sylvia was sick, when our Energies “clicked” into a higher, much more-bonded Level with each other. We never talked about it but at that point we both knew that our deep, unquestionable Love for each other was much more powerful and brought us more-deeply together than we had ever felt before.
If it wasn’t for Sylvia placing images into my mind, within minutes of her “crossing” and actually “Talking” to me within hours of her “crossing”, I would have left this side of the “Veil” shortly after she passed through it… but it’s those 2 messages from My Sylvia which not only keep me waiting for her return, it also started me jumping down many Rabbit Holes, in search of “when” the “Veil” will be removed. I know it WILL happen… and I know it will happen within MY lifetime. I just don’t know “when”.
Sylvia knows how much I Love to play the Drums but I haven’t played mine in a few Months. Partly because I’m not really motivated and partly because my only Drumset… the one Sylvia bought me for my Birthday one Year, is deteriorating. It’s an “Electronic” Druumset and it’s computer brain (the “Sound Module”) has been developing a few quirks.
I did manage to play for almost 2-Hours today. I wanted to play more but because I hadn’t played in quite a while, the skin on my hands had gone back to being soft and while I played today, I started to develop a large blister on one finger.
I find it also interesting (and Symbolic) that the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) in this State sent us a new License Plate last week. Sylvia and I have had the same Plate since we moved here in 1993. Each year, we pay the DMV their Fee and they simply send us a Sticker to put on our License Plate. This Time, they not only sent a new “Plate” but it’s a completely different “Number”. Why did they do that? Wouldn’t that make it more difficult for them to keep track of which Number belongs to which person?
  • The reason I’m mentioning this is because a “License Plate” is the “public” Identification of a “Vehicle”… and a “Vehicle”, Symbolically, represents someone’s “Drive”.
  • I just ran the Numbers on the old Plate and the new one…
  • Old Plate: The numbers add up to 42, which reduces to 6 (Harmony)
  • New Plate; The numbers add up to 30, which reduces to 3 (Creativity)
Interesting. So my “Drive”… Actually it’s “Sylvia and my” Drive has changed. Both Numbers are based on “3” and both could indicate a focus (Career) in Music but “Creativity” provides a much wider scope of that Energy.
  • This could also mean Sylvia and I will have to be much more Creative, in order to find our way back to each other… “Physically”.
So, based on my direct interaction with My Sylvia, my own personal “Truth” tells me that the “D” word (dead, death, died) does not exist. Sylvia has shown me that she DOES still exist. I just can’t “see”, “feel” or “hear” her… yet… but I will. Only Time will tell.
Another interesting facet to all this happened last week…
Whenever Sylvia and I are driving in our car, because she always wants to know her surroundings, I always tell her where we are…
  • (for example) We’re now on this road and we just passed this landmark, etc.
Last week, when I did this, she showed me an image of a “room” the size of the Solar System and filled with the vastness of Space. In the center was “me”. Sylvia indicated that she always knows where I am… No matter where I go, I’m always within the “room” that she can locate me in.
She also indicated that she didn’t know where “I” think I am (within that “room”).
  • In other words, “I” perceive myself as being in our car, traveling down a certain road and just passing a certain landmark. Sylvia Senses me being in a specific spot within that huge “room”.
She did indicate that she used the Smart Glass that the Agarthans (Inner Earth) gave her, to overlay a type of “map” onto where she Senses me.
  • Sylvia understands Technology and doesn’t mind using it but she’s not nearly as deep into it as I am. So it took her a while to get her Smart Glass to create a “where Paul thinks he is” overlay and Calibrate it to where she Senses me in that “room”.
I just find it interesting that all of these pieces came together around the same point in Time. Maybe this means something more than I realize right now. I just continue to listen to My Sylvia, learn Telepathy with her and follow her Guidance. It’s gotten me this far and, from what “I” can tell, we’re almost Home.

PS 6-7-20 *Mold, Sun, Community, Wilcock

*First a comment:
*MOLD
  • I’m explaining this because some people want to know what Sylvia and I are going through… and because it may help others who may find themselves in a similar situation.
It seems that Sylvia and I are dealing with “Mold” again. This is insane. I don’t remember having to deal with this much Mold. Even growing-up in Florida, with my Parents.
  • Today, I was getting a bowl out of a Kitchen Cabinet, which I almost never do and noticed a discoloration underneath the shelf above. I look up and saw more Mold on the underside of the top of that Cabinet. I quickly checked all of our Cabinets and saw Mold under 4 shelves (total).
So that will be tomorrow’s project. (We have 4 different types of Mold remover but I’ll have to remove ALL the dishes from those Cabinets first.)
  • I’ve mentioned before that “Women” seem to have a built-in knack for knowing “when” to clean and “what” to clean.
  • I used to question Sylvia’s weekly “Dusting”… explaining that she’s only moving the dust from one place to another. However, I should have remembered that the Duster she uses actually “attracts” and “holds” the Dust until it’s shaken out. I should have also realized that her asking me to Vacuum every so often was part of the cycle of removing ALL of the Dust in our home.
It’s now been over 478-weeks since Sylvia crossed-over. I haven’t been motivated to do much of anything because of that. I like things to be clean, just like Sylvia, but sometimes I get depressed and I almost never wear eyeglasses when we’re at home… and I can’t see “Dust” or “Mold” without them.
  • About 3-weeks ago, we bought 2 cans of “Spray Foam”, which is used to fill gaps around pipes (under sinks) and various other areas. Determined to stop whatever “animals” were attacking us, many weeks ago, I used 1-can to fill those under-sink cracks the day we purchased the Foam.
  • Today, I finally got myself to fill the gaps next to one of our Bathtubs, where (I think) a mouse had entered from.
(∞∞∞∞∞)

SUN
In this 13-minute video, the Narrator points out that the Sun may have moved a few Degrees to the North, compared to this Time in previous years. He shows photos from his Subscribers, who say the same thing.

  • So, has the Sun moved?
  • Has the Earth tilted a bit but most of us never felt it?
  • Is this a Sign that “the Event” is coming very soon?
  • Are we simply on a “new Earth”?
  • Only Time will tell.

Question everything.

Here’s the link:
(((((∞)))))
COMMUNITY
I’m crying…
There’s an 8-minute video on the following Forum Thread. The Narrator was a black, “gang banger” (his words). I’m crying because HE figured “it” out. He’s telling everyone: black, white, red, yellow, brown, everyone that we have to learn to live together.
(This is “his” message but “my” words, because I can’t remember exactly what he said:)
  • His biggest message is when he explains to other black people that we have to start at “Home”… We have to clean-up our own Act within our own Community. We have to stand-up and tell others: “Don’t kill that person. Don’t you see that you’re killing your own “Brother”? You’re beating your own “Sister”? We have to make sure we DON’T give the Police a reason to harass us or for others to think badly of us but it all starts at Home.”
  • He says, yes, “black lives matter”, but for everyone to wake-up because these Protests only happen when it suits those people. Black people die every day… Every single day. Who Protests for them?
I’m not doing his message justice. He explains it much better than this. So please visit the following web page and watch his video. It is well-worth your Time.
•••••
My comments: Wow! It’s difficult for any of us to poke our head about the clouds and realize what’s really going on… but for someone who has had a hard life, this is nearly impossible… BUT HE DID IT!
I truly wish him well and hope his message reaches everyone… everyone. Not just blacks. Every one needs to hear his message!
•••••
Question everything.
Here’s the link:
(((((∞)))))
WILCOCK
I’m including this as ‘extra credit’. It doesn’t apply to my quest of “when” My Sylvia and I will be together again and it isn’t necessarily what I would consider “bonus” information (which is something “I” feel you may want to know about, in regard to the current world we live in)
This video is 2-hours, 32-minutes. The title is: “David Wilcock and Dannion Brinkley, 6/7: Pathway to Peace!“.
Here are a few highlights:
  • Dannion has had 4 Near Death Experiences (NDE).
  • Around the 26-minute mark, Dannion explains that “Nobody Dies”.
•••••
My comments: This is especially important to “me” because this is exactly what I experienced with Sylvia’s “crossing”. Sylvia did not “Die”. There is no such thing as “Death”. Why? Because “Die”, “Death”, “Dead” are words which describe a “permanence”… something which is “forever”. Sylvia simply “Transitioned”. I’ve explained this before but here’s one way to think about “Dying”:
  • Let’s say it’s very late at night. You’re tired. You’ve had a long day. You decide to watch Television or read a Book. As you do, you begin to doze-off. You don’t even realize you’re doing it. At one point, you catch yourself and wake-up so fast and hard that you’re a bit disoriented.
  • That’s the “sense” of it but you don’t wake-up “hard” like that. It’s very gentle. It’s almost as if you are slowly Blinking your eyes. First you see your current surroundings. You then close your eyes for a few seconds and when you open them, you see that your surroundings have changed.
  • (Yes, there are accounts of people having “Near Death Experiences” but still seeing the same room they were in before they “left”. From what “I” understand, this has to do with their “focus” and “disorientation”. Once they calm themselves and truly look around, they will begin to see their true surroundings and at least one of the “people” / “Beings” who have come to Guide them.)
•••••
This video is pretty much about moving from this side of the “Veil” to the other side.

Question everything.
Here’s the link:

PS 2-22-20 Separation?

SEPARATION?
This was sent to me by M.R. (who’s on this list) thank you. I would have never seen this otherwise.
This is a Channeling Session where Mary Ennis brings-through an Entity called “Elias”.
As I was reading this particular Session, I had to stop at this paragraph:
  • “Now, what happens with individuals at times, especially if they are very bonded and very connected to that other being, is that there becomes this element of perception that if you stop crying, if you stop weeping, if you stop missing, then you are somehow betraying the relationship; that you should forever after be expressing in this manner because that is the indicator—that is, in a manner of speaking, the proof of how important this individual is to you, how important the relationship is to you and has been to you, and how close and engaging the relationship is. But in actuality, the whole point of grieving is to move you in that direction to the point in which you realize that there isn’t the separation that you think there is, that you aren’t any less connected and you aren’t any less interactive; you are simply interactive and connected physically in a different manner, in a different capacity.”
•••••
My comments: (For me and Sylvia, it’s now been 463-weeks since she crossed-over.) This is describing me and Sylvia. We have both been EXTREMELY fortunate to actually find each other within this Incarnation. Then, when Sylvia crossed-over, because our Bond was so complete… so unquestioning, she continued including me with her new “world” as much as she is able to. Because Sylvia started this within a few minutes after her crossing, I was not only able to receive her entire “message”, but we both cemented that particular “new” connection when it was at its strongest. This is why I KNOW what I now know about her current situation… why I know she’s here with me most of the Time… why I know when she’s “nudging” me in a certain direction, etc.
  • Even when My Sylvia was on THIS side of the “Veil”, she never “told” me to do “anything”. She’s always very open, loving and considerate of others… especially with “me”.
So, yes, Sylvia is still with me. She never really left my side… and, just as it’s stated in the paragraph above, we’re “connected in a different manner”… but we’re still very much connected to each other.
For those of you out there who don’t “feel” or “sense” your Loved One on the “other side”, it could be that they are involved with a project which takes their “focus” away from you briefly or because “you” have been stressed or have blocked their energies somehow.
  • Keep in mind that “Time” does not hold the same Measurement for those on the “other side” as it does for us on “this” side of the “Veil”. So don’t think “he or she has forgotten me”. For that other person, they may only feel a sense of a “month” or 2, compared to “you” measuring your Time apart in “years”.
Also…
I think I’ve mentioned this long ago but it’s important for those who have Loved Ones on the “other side” but don’t understand some of this…
  • That person’s “Character”, their “Individuality”, will remain with them. Sylvia loves to play music and I know she’s still a “Musician” because she showed me her bedroom (she’s staying with her Mom) where she has a Piano and I saw her playing it. This was months after she “crossed”.
  • So if your Loved One enjoyed being outdoors… or learning… or singing, etc., then they will retain that “character” trait.
  • Your Loved One “may” or “may not” change their name, when they reach the “other side”. It just depends on different things. In Sylvia’s case, she is still using that name. She did this so I could Tune-In to her energies a bit easier.
  • Many years after my Mom crossed-over, we met for Lunch one day. It was a planet in another Solar System and we met just outside a small sandwich shop within a large city. She told me she was a Liaison between 2 different planets. (When she was on “this” side of the “Veil”, she was always a Cook. She was very good at it and loved it.) I don’t remember what we talked about but I’m pretty sure she changed her name. However, I’m currently not allowed to know what it is.
  • Several years after my Dad crossed-over, he came to visit. Sylvia and I were home. I think she was in another room. I was near the Living Room — standing there. My Dad just “appeared” in the middle of the Living Room. I saw him in my mind as if I had put-on special eyeglasses. (When my Dad was on “this” side of the “Veil” he was almost always a Carpenter.) He stood there for at least 30-seconds with a half-smile on his face. He said: “They build with Shapes over here.” A few more seconds passed and he just disappeared. I haven’t seen him since. However, I do feel him around me, “some times”, when I’m intensely working on building something out of wood and struggling with it. At those points, if I really focus on his energy, I can feel him guiding me… showing me how to accomplish what I’m trying to do.
Again, this is not about “me”. I’m simply the person having these experiences and happy to share them with others. In other words, I’m happy to share these experiences (my “personal” and “very real” experiences) with anyone, hoping it will help others understand a little more about their own Loved Ones who may currently be on the “other side”.
•••••
I”m still reading the information in this Session. I’ve come to a few paragraphs which begin with:
  • “Now; what that means is that individual will continue to generate objective reality. They don’t remember their death for a time framework, and therefore they immediately begin creating reality that appears to be physical, appears to be the same as what they are accustomed to.”
•••••
My comments: Elias is describing the disorientation of the person who just crossed-over. He forgot to state that this does not happen to EVERY person who crosses. This didn’t happen to Sylvia. Her Parents, who crossed-over many years before, came to the foot of her bed about a week before she crossed. Then, during those first few minutes of Sylvia crossing-over, before walking with them, she stopped and presented me with some information. Then she left with them. The next day, less than 12-hours later, Sylvia went back to Hospice to see me. I had gone back because I couldn’t stand the horrible emptiness at home without her. This is when Sylvia actually “spoke” to me and said:
  • “The Veils are getting thinner. I will be with you soon.”
So, what I’m pointing out here is that the information “Elias” is presenting does not apply to “every” person who has crossed-over.
•••••
Question everything.

Here’s the link to this Session as “Text”:

Here’s the link to this Session in “Audio” form:
Here’s the link to Mary Ennis’ website:

PS 4-8-18 *MySylvia, *Portals, Cobra

*First a couple of comments:
*MY SYLVIA
9/22/36 – 4/9/11
(September 22, 1936 – April 9, 2011)
(Yes, Sylvia was “74” when she crossed. She was “18-years” older than me. Now “I’m” 18-years older than “her”.)
  • Exactly 1-week after My Sylvia crossed-over, I held her Memorial Service in the Chapel of the hospice we had been in for the previous 3-weeks.
  • At one point, during that Service, I held-up a piece of paper which I had printed the large numbers “4/9/11”. I said: “My Sylvia crossed-over on 4, 9, 11” I then moved 1 of my hands and covered the number “4”. I didn’t say anything but my intention was to make the Point of My Sylvia “crossing” on the most devastating (yes, I had to look it up) day in MY life. It was MY “911”.
Also…
I found it interesting that Jennifer Hoffman’s Post today talks about a cycle which began in March 2011 and ended today, March 2018.
  • Before Sylvia crossed-over, and while we were still in hospice, I asked her why she had to leave. She told me “Higher Purpose”. I’ve been looking for some connection to that… what that could be… ever since. Maybe there’s a tiny piece to that puzzle in what Jennifer Hoffman mentioned today.
Here’s what Jennifer Hoffman Posted today:
  • “Occasionally I get confirmation for global events to share with you and I got one today! I mentioned in the April Energy Report, link below, that we were completing a cycle which began in March 2011, Uranus in Aries, and it’s a very big and important event. We’ve been in that cycle for 7 years and it has been tough. Well, it’s over and here’s my confirmation.”
  • “It came in the form of an amended 2011 1099 from Paypal. That year, they sent millions of people incorrect 1099s (the form they send out indicating how much you earned through their payment gateway) which meant that many of them were investigated by the IRS for falsely reporting their income. That happened to me too and because I keep good financial records (one of my degrees is in finance), I was able to avoid paying the IRS taxes and penalties they thought I owed them (over $40K), which I did not owe.”
  • “At that time I asked Paypal to issue a revised 1099 to correct their error but they refused, so I reported them to the IRS for filing false tax documents (as proof that it was their mistake, not mine).”
  • “Then today, 7 years later, I received, with no warning, an amended 2011 1099. This closes that matter for me and for the millions of Paypal customers who had to deal with an IRS investigation because of Paypal’s mistake.”
  • “Confirmation comes in all shapes and sizes and sometimes it takes a while but it eventually happens. So let’s say hooray for that 7 year cycle closing out and hello to a new cycle. Here’s the energy report for you:”
  • http://enlighteninglife.com/april-2018-energy-report/
Here’s the link to her facebook page where I found this information:
*PORTALS
This next one’s a ‘bonus’ (something you should know but it doesn’t directly provide “me” with any feedback of “when” me and My Sylvia will be together).
This was sent to me by M.R. (who’s on this list) thank you. It was sent on March 26th but I was never able to “get around to it” until today. So there’s something about the timing of this information…
The following information has to do with a person named Jerry Wills… an Electronics Engineer who fell from a very tall platform while installing some electrical equipment. During that incident, he had a “Near Death Experience” which changed his life.
I won’t spoil the details of the following information for you but “I” feel it’s very important for everyone to at least “know” about his experience with the “Portal”.
In my opinion, it’s best to access the following links in this order:
Here’s the direct link to the Jerry Wills interview on “Coast 2 Coast” radio, which I haven’t listened to. (It appears to be 4-hours long!)
  • Note: If anyone truly feels as though they’ve “had enough” of this “Reality” or simply want to just “cross-over”, I would strongly suggest helping this planet and Humanity instead. How do you do this? One way is to visit the “Portal” at Aramu Muru, Peru. It shouldn’t take but a relatively small amount of money to convince the “locals” to give you the “Sound Key”. Then, go and talk with those Beings on the other side of that “Portal”, to learn how the cabal can be eliminated, so Humanity can continue its true evolution.
  • I would suggest bringing a device which will allow you to record both Audio and Video, while you’re there. (There’s a high probability that such a device could withstand the journey.)
  • If those Beings “won’t” or “are not allowed” to provide you with the information you need, Then you should, eventually be able to discover a different “Sound Key” which will transport you to another planet where you’ll be happy.
(∞∞∞∞∞)
COBRA

Today, Cobra Posted 2 messages for the “Resistance Movement”:

  • “CITA ANNABELLA v9.0 operational”
  • “All VTXC systems GO!, command immediate V>LE GBN/HVBN”

•••••

My comments: That last message seems urgent… It either means:
  • All VTXC Systems can now be activated, so hurry-up and get them started!
or
  • The Time is right for being successful, so get in there NOW and get the job done!
Only Time will tell.
•••••
Question everything.

Here’s the link:

My Energy Levels

Sylvia suggested I Post this, because it may help others who are going through the loss of a Loved One or depression. It may also help those who know someone who is experiencing these situations. This is a personal look inside my “state-of-being” and, hopefully, this information may be of some help to others.

  • NOTE: I’ve Posted an exact copy of this information on our menu, called: “My Energy Levels”. Since the information below may help others for longer than the Posting of THIS message today, it will remain in that menu for everyone’s future reference. I have Posted this “here”, on our daily Blog page, in order to use “Tags” to let everyone know it’s available. (Of course, “Tags” can’t be added on Weebly. So if you want to “Follow” or “Like” any of these entries, please visit our WordPress Blog:)
  • https://paulsylvia.wordpress.com/

Although I may add a few more levels of my core stability read-out to this list, this is what I’ve experienced so far in my daily “how are you feeling today?” question (whenever someone asks). The top of this list is the “ultimate” / “Sylvia and I are now physically together” and the bottom of this list is “rock bottom” / “crash-and-burn” / “complete chaos” / “no direction or purpose without My Sylvia”:

1 – With Sylvia

  • The ultimate experience for me and My Sylvia is to be “physically” with each other. Once we achieve this level, EVERYONE will know it because Sylvia and I will not only be arm-in-arm, 24/7, like we’ve been for OVER 21-years, but we will both have the BIGGEST grins on our faces.

2 – I’m on FIRE!

  • I can feel doorways opening and energies changing… lining-up… Sylvia and I are about to be “physically” reunited with each other

3 – Pleasantly Positive

4 – Cautiously Hopeful

5 – Holding my own.

  • It’s taking an effort to not dwell in the negative energies surrounding me at this time. Although I can still have moments of chaotic sparks of energy within me, I’m able to control most of this. (Sometimes, there are long stretches of days… even weeks, were this is as good as it gets for me.)

6 – Blah.

  • I’ll usually just make a noise, when asked how I’m doing. I’m doing my best to interact with “society” but, at times, I get a bit depressed, disoriented and have a little bit of chaotic energy. I do my best to keep these energies under control but it’s EXTREMELY difficult.

7 – Crash-and-burn.

  • I have completely shut down. Although I may look as though I’m going from “point A” to “point B”, I really don’t know how I got there or what I’m supposed to be doing… and this is the “good” part of this state. Typically, I’m disoriented, and don’t understand much more than simple instructions. I do not understand the details of basic “conversation” and I mostly want to just cry. Several months after Sylvia crossed-over, I spent a lot of time within this state… a LOT of time.

8 – (Yes, there’s another level lower than number 7. I really don’t want to describe this one because it means I have to reach inside those energies. Even as an “observer” this is painful.)

  • So, number 8 is “Meltdown”.
  • This state actually started WHILE Sylvia and I were in hospice… for 3-weeks! Now, I’m a loud talker anyway… so picture me in the hallway of a quiet, hospice setting. The patient’s are in their rooms resting and their loved-ones are by their side, feeling lots of stress. As I’m “talking” to the chaplain, nurses and other staff members, they urge me to go out to the hallway, so “I” wouldn’t bother Sylvia. I get to the hallway and begin to cry… a LOT. As I “talk” and “cry” at the same time, I get even LOUDER. Everyone urges me to go to the end of the hallway and go into that “waiting room”, where there’s a door they can close, but I refuse:
  • “I”M NOT LEAVING THIS ROOM!!!” (pointing to the door of Sylvia’s room, which is just a few feet from me.)
  • Because I was interacting with several other people at the time, I only really noticed my “outward” physical pains and energies, during those “Meltdowns”. When I was by myself, during those 1st 12-months, especially the first few DAYS after going home by myself, I could truly feel the “inner” pains and energies… and this was NOT pretty. I’d rather lose an arm or jump off a cliff than go through that feeling again. I would not wish this on anyone. The best way I can describe this feeling is that it’s like having a sword or arrow pierce through your heart and the tip stops just after slightly piercing your very Soul. The PAIN IS ENORMOUS! I’m not much of a linguist but I cannot find a word that describes just how painful this is… When it happens, I wrap my arms around myself, trying to contain it or at least settle it down… but this has no affect. There’s sometimes a sharp pain near my heart and it’s difficult to breath. My mind is foggy, my overall energies are very chaotic and my stress level is unmeasurable.

No matter which of the “negative” states I’m in, there is no cure. I simply have to work through it myself. If I’m about to knock something over or unknowingly harm someone else, then, yes, an extra pair of eyes on “me” will be appreciated.

…and, no matter which state I’m in, it sometimes doesn’t take much to immediately send me to ANY one of the other states… I don’t have to “go through” the next one in line.

Sometimes, I have to fool myself, in order to get myself through to the next “minute”… and the next… and, eventually, over the hump in the day, which can then bring me to the next day. Of course, it’s still bad when Sylvia and I leave the building we work in. At that point, I’m alone… all alone. It’s just a raw “me” and My Sylvia. The drive home is stressful and annoying because I’m not at work where things are familiar and we’re not home yet, where things are very familiar. Instead, we have to brave the lunacy we know as “driving in public”. Where some of the people are on cellphones and have no clue as to what’s happening around them… and there are others who tailgate everyone because they’re better than everyone else and can’t understand why there are ANY vehicles allowed on the road besides THEIRS! (Don’t believe me? See if you can drive 5-miles per hour slower than the speed limit without someone tailgating you — even if there’s a completely empty lane available, where they could easily enter and drive around you!)

Many people that “I” talk to still don’t “get it”. They just do not understand the situation Sylvia and I are in AND the way WE are handling this. When I tell them Sylvia crossed-over 240-weeks ago, they cannot comprehend that much Time passing, and yet, “I”, at least on the inside, am still extremely sad, sometimes depressed, mostly stressed and WILL NOT BREAK MY “LOOP”! (…of ‘eat, sleep, go to work, rinse, repeat)

Computer Files – our books for free

It’s now September 20, 2015… it has now been 232-weeks since My Sylvia crossed-over. A few days ago, Sylvia suggested we make our latest 3-books available as free downloads. At 1st, she showed me the 2 computer books I had written a few years ago. I agreed that these have never sold, because we didn’t put any energy behind them to Market them properly. So, by making them available at no charge, maybe someone can benefit from all the work we did in creating those books.

Then, yesterday, while at work, Sylvia showed me (in my mind) our last book… the book I put-together from the many eMails I wrote while we were in hospice. Even though that book ALSO hasn’t sold any copies, I was a bit surprised that she was now suggesting that we make it available for free.

  • Always listen to your “Significant Other”.

So I gathered the Master Files, made sure they could be read by all computers (converting a few files to “PDF”) and uploaded them to our Blogsite.)

I’m still not sure why Sylvia has been pushing me lately with a sort of “urgency” energy but she’s a very smart girl… MY girl… and I do listen to her suggestions.

There’s more information about these files, on the “Downloads” page. Clicking the “Downloads” menu button, to the left, will take you there.

I’m Posting this on multiple sites. So if you’re not currently on our “WordPress” or “Weebly” site, you’ll need to start at 1 of them:

WordPress:

https://paulsylvia.wordpress.com/

Weebly:

http://paulandsylvia.weebly.com/

With this urgency from Sylvia, I’m really beginning to wonder if the “broken clock” of information I’ve been receiving is FINALLY correct. (“Even a broken clock is right twice a day”.)

I stay very aware at all times… sensing is “Ships” are about to land or if I’m going to simply “phase-out” of this illusion. Sylvia and I don’t really care HOW it happens we’re just walking our Path and waiting for the “when”.